46. Path Of Love

On the road to the library, there are two little white houses set very close to gether near the road. The people who live in them usually spend a great deal of their time outside and often have fires that they congregate around. The yards are dirt, and they remind me of the woods people who used to sweep the dirt around their homes before they left, say, for town. They did this so they could check the swept dirt for any snake tracks going into their house when they got back. Now the white houses are deserted, and perhaps the people have found better places to live. I hope so. But for the past eleven years, it was interesting to see homes with people on the outside. Nowadays, you can look at home after home, and no one is outside. Of course in Florida, it is very uncomfortable outside at least three months out of the year.
Sarah's visit to Idaho seems to have ended depressingly with Rebecca haranguing her, and Sarah unable to defend herself and getting pyschosomatic symptoms. Murray Bowen, M.D., the father of family systems theory, would call Sarah's symptoms indications of an enmeshment problem with her sister, Rebecca. Sarah's only way of handling the enmeshment is by fission, complete separation for Rebecca. The next time I talk to Rebecca, I want to see if she thinks it would have worked to have asked her sister when Rebecca started her rant: "Tell me, Rebecca, are you on the path of love or the path of hate about me not taking care of Mom? If you are on the path of love, we can discuss adult to adult why you think I am not caring for Mom. We both love Mom, and we both want her to have good care don't we? If you are on the path of hate with me, and the care of Mom is not the issue, then we can discuss why you are on the path of hate with me. You don't like being on the path of hate with me, do you? If you don't like being on the path of hate with me, what can I do differently (this is a solution-focused or oriented therapy question) so I can get off the path of hate with you?" Since it is difficult to find Sarah at home, I will try to copy this and send it to her to see what she thinks of it. I would like the path of love, path of hate work not only for Sarah but for everyone. I've invented it, but I haven't used it much.
Two-Guns at peternickerson12@yahoo.com.