Brattleboro, Vermont Selectboard Candidate #42

     "It's not your body to abort!" is on the left bank of windows of my truck's cap. I had a Planned Parenthood Northern New England plastic box containing a condom gratuitously left in the windshield wipers' well - what was the point of that? I've also had a note taped to the driver's door of my truck that read "I bet you're a man sexist." The jerk was still hanging around when I went to my truck and read it. He began tooting his horn in short beeps taunting me. There was no self-defense involved so approaching him was a no-go. Also I had my notes and my index for my black panther book inside the restaurant. I couldn't turn my back on them to walk into the back of the parking lot to confront this idiot sitting in his car beeping at me.
     I told the the Brattleboro Selectboard about theses two events because I think they are soft on the beggars in town (they won't even tell them that threatening is illegal), and I suspect they really don't support diversity, only their approved diversity.  Except for Brandi, all I got were poker-faces. She was upset. Maybe the rest were against all Americans having free speech or maybe they were just ewes and werthers. Or maybe they figured a guy who said he lifted weights three hours a day and could rip the head off a man didn't need any verbal coddling. I didn't get a word from them after I finished even though they had just hypocritically approved the U.N. resolution for civil rights! So much for my civil rights. Civil rights for a Trump-voting, American, big, white male? Perish the thought! You can see my performance on the video from that meeting. Of course it will not covered in the local pro-violence, socialist paper unless they devise a way to make me look bad.
    Today, I was having coffee at a restaurant when the manager came to my table and said, paraphrasing here, "A man came in and asked that I take that anti-abortion sign off your truck. I told him I couldn't be taking people's signs off their vehicles. He then said I should refuse to serve you. I told him that I couldn't do that either. Then he said he was going to report me to my superiors. He also said you had a sign about guns on the other side of your truck and you were big and wore camouflage, and he was scared."
     What a clever little, totalitarian, baby-killer. Having been called a baby-killer during the Vietnam War, it gives me great pleasure to give back. When I found the note on my truck, I responded by drawing a little stick-figure of a baby with a halo next to my antiabortion sign. Today, when I found out about this third incident, I decided it was time to make a little step toward organizing some support for myself. I went to the Catholic Church to talk to a Father. No Father there but a nice, quiet lady. At that point, all I wanted was a prayer for the safety of my truck and courage for myself. I'm on the spectrum from frightened rabbit hiding in my bed to charging, happy lion. The quiet lady said she'd pray for me.
     Besides being on my rabbit to lion spectrum, I am also a lonely, old man so what I'd like from Christians and other non-babykillers is a thumbs up when you see me on the road. My truck is very distinctive. I've never seen one like it- 04
Colorado, sunburst orange, with a cap with a "Have you seen Bigfoot" sign on the back. Just give me a thumbs up. I could use your support. Hell, I'm so lonely I'd enjoy hearing from you baby-killers. Just give me the bird as you go by! At least have the balls or ovaries to face me. Your head is safe as long as you don't attack me.
Nick Nickerson, Philosophy Major.