Yikes! A UFO, Bigfoot, And A White Panther!

Several months ago, I was reading at 10:20 on a Friday night when I received a call from a public phone from a Mr. Thomas Hackett. He was cautiously saying hi to the people who were passing by him and was calling me from the Hawthorne, Florida area, just about twenty miles east of Tim Tebow's University of Florida in Gainesville, Florida. God bless you Tim and onward Christian soldiers. Thomas Hackett had just seen a flying saucer right down to the windows. But he had not seen any figures in the windows. Years before, a friend of Thomas's had given him my black panther business card so he called me.
In response to my questions, he said he had heard of a Bigfoot in the area getting under the typical cracker houses and lifting up a floorboard to peek inside. He probably wanted to see what was on television! I am glad to see that the creator of the Virginia Bigfoot blog is using a super quiet camera he has been working on for years is finally able to use the camera outside windows that Bigfoot comes to in order to watch television. Unfortunatley, the gentleman calls these camera "traps."
This is the wrong thing to do as the word "trap" provokes the government and law enforcement to become involved. I had to buy a license to trap. Don't use the word "trap": just call it what it is - a camera. Again unfortunately, the Virginia gentleman is unlikely to take my advice because he is an FBI agent, but for the rest of us who don't want the government and law enforcement looking over our shoulders eager to charge us with a multitiude of hysterically overblown crimes and don't want to pay for licenses and don't want to have "trapping seasons" and anything else the government wants to throw at you, your cameras are cameras and not "traps." Don't get gulled into thinking you are being sophisticated by calling your camera a "trap." You're being hoodwinked! To return to my reporter, Thomas Hackett: This was the first report I had heard of in which a Bigfoot played Peeping Tom by lifting a floorboard though I have read about him looking through windows and even reaching through windows, including doing that trying to reach a child sitting on the toilet.
Next, I obtained the Holy Grail of panther reports when Thomas told me that in the 1990s he had been in camping in the George Washington National Forest in West Virginia, just across the Virginia border, when his friends and he had a white panther approach their campfire. There was about a two hundred foot cliff next to the camp, and the panther descended the cliff, screaming as he came. "We shined flashlights and could see the pink eyes. It was an albino," Thomas Hackett said.
Please call me with your Bigfoot and black panther sightings. I am trying to form a Bigfoot Camera-Hunt team to share gasoline expenses and fun. I'd like to do some night searching by vehicle in areas where he's been sighted. Also, day hiking in such areas to look for tracks and tree twists and to see if we can pique the curiosity of a Bigfoot or two. Call me, Pete Nickerson, please at 352-359-0850.