Debate With Tasha, Mrs. John Edwards

What's better with you, my friend? I am trying to be a little more assertive with Tasha instead of just going along to get along. I think I am getting cognitive dissonance with being so emphatic here and then going home and being a doormat just to keep the peace. Plus, being a doormat at home hinders me being assertive here and elsewhere. It's not just assertiveness; it's the the whole process of critical thinking and expression. On the other hand, if you have someone with a very large ego, is there room for anyone else's ego? Everything is finite and if someone's ego fills up the dimensions, how can you expect your ego to be very large? They say that a man marries his father, and Tasha is very much like my father. Both are authoritarian, and it is my way or the highway for both. When I was growing up, I decided that if I challenged my father, my life would be pure hell, and I would be too angry and generally upset to study. As a young boy, I had decided I wanted to go to college, and as I was not brilliant, I knew I needed good grades and extracurricular actvities to get into college. Those things took time and concentration, and I knew I would have neither if I were constantly at war with my father. My sister turned herself in at a police station, saying, "Home is hell, and I'm not going back there." Now Sarah was my father's little "princess," and he quickly got one of the best lawyers in the city ( the man went on to become the mayor) and smoothed everything over with the police and took Sarah home. I did not think he would do that for me since he used the threat of reform school constantly. I knew very few, if any, people graduated from reform school and went to college. So I acquiesced to my father's eccentricities, stayed at school as late as I could each weekday, taking the activities bus home, eating dinner alone, and generally trying to stay out of his way. However, I paid a big price for that because I'm afraid I shaped my personality to be avoidant, passive, fearful, and I internalized all my emotions. These emotions grew and grew until they had to come out, much like a volcano must finally explode, and they came out in the form of fears which have stayed with me all my life, once they became hard-wired. For sure, what's better today is I blew a little steam off by debating Tasha instead of silently, passively taking it all in.
Why the self-revelation today? It may be that it's time because I'm that sort of guy, and it may be also because of John Edwards' admission of his adultery and lying to the American people . Let's talk about the Edwards brieflly: What galls me is that Mrs. Edwards stood by John's side, literally, as he denied his affair. Why couldn't she differentiate herself from him? Let him answer those questions alone. Why couldn't she just walk away when those questions came up? Didn't he differentiate himself from her when he went to bed with another woman? Is she so addicted to his wealth, prestige, and power that she will do anything? This is a woman dealing with a possible death sentence through cancer. Shouldn't she be at a higher level of spirituality than crass John? She was lying to the American people too - lying by omission. It is said that women love their nests, and men love their conquests. It seems to be very true, particularly with politicians.
Have you heard that when "Clark Rockefeller" kidnapped his daughter on a supervised visit that the attending social worker grabbed the door handle of his vehicle and held on to it for a ways while she was dragged down the street?That social worker deserves a medal.
What about this doctor of chemistry who is supposedly responsible for the anthrax letter that killed several people? His social worker therapist said he was a psychopath. Succintly, a psychopath is one who has no conscience. It would be interesting to know if he was already one when he got the job or did the what he did on his job -torture animals with anthrax - make him a psychopath. Let's see.. the precursors of being an adult psychopath are bedwetting, starting fires, and torturing animals when you are a child. History is prelude.
I hope you will excuse any errors today. I was a little upset by my debate with Tasha and forgot my glasses. The keyboard and screen are a little blurry. Until we meet again, my friend, let us both walk The Path Of Love and find the wind in our backs. Two-Guns at peternickerson12@yahoo.com.