Restricted Calls

 A group of possibly five people are planning to get together. The rest of them have been having occasional meetings for years, and I have never attended. This year the meeting will be near me so I can go. There are some people I haven't seen for over thirty years. But there is a problem. Restricted has become increasingly critical of another member, Free Spirit. It began with Restricted complaining that Free Spirit wasn't so free financially to finally evolving over the years to predicting  that Free Spirit is going to shake down several of the group members for their last penny at the forthcoming meeting. Curiously, it is Restricted who has married Mr. Big Bucks so one wonders if this is projection within an obsessive personality. At any rate, Free Spirit will not attend if Restricted is there. She has tried to argue rationally with Restricted but her throat shuts down due to tension, and she can't get the words out. For months after the meetings, she suffers physical problems such as burping.
  I am still getting restricted calls, and no one says anything. I called Restricted, and she doesn't answer so I left a message saying she is not invited to our get-together. Technically, I can't do that. What I should have said is that if she is there, Free Spirit, another member who is sick of the verbal abuse Free Spirit gets, and I will not be there. On the message machine, I also told her she could work on establishing a positive relationship with Free Spirit, and we'd have another meeting in a year or so. I was not going to answer any more restricted calls as no one was saying anything, but Free Spirit has asked me to keep answering the calls. If they are from Restricted, maybe she will tell me if she is going to stay away from the get-together this year or not. I am not going to call Restricted as I don't like my calls piling up with no record of her calling me as she uses the restricted service. You have to be careful. I hope this can be worked out, but there is a very long, bad history. History is the best indicator of the future. It will be a shame because Free Spirit is an unorthodox soul who graduated summa cum laude while Restricted is an equally intelligent woman who believes God micro-manages her life (but apparently not Free Spirit's).  Both have energetic, colorful personalities, and had once loved each other deeply with no condemnation. Peter "Nick" Nickerson, MS, MSW North Florida