#168 Is The Sex Good?

Before we go to sex, Jack Brown, the director of the teaching zoo at Santa Fe College did call Liz Newton at the History Channel's MonsterQuest and was told the go-to person would not be Blackwater but someone in New York who is seeing black cats. James expressed relief that our black pumas would not be endangered, but I am not so sure. Will these black cats in New York be identified as black leopards or black pumas? If they are portrayed as dangerous, black leopards, then any Floridians watching the show, would be more likely to shoot the black pumas we have here in the Sunshine State.
I told Jack Brown where Blackwater got the idea that black leopards roamed America - from being released from slave ships after they had served to keep the Africans docile on the voyage from Africa. He had never seen that in print, and I couldn't recall where I had once seen it. I went through my index cards and found it: Gerry Parker, author of "The Eastern Panther" mentions it on page 185. He doesn't relate it to anyone or anything, and there is no footnote. Now to sex!
Rick told me this: "I've been bothered by this for some time. I talked to my sister. Loopy. about writing my daughter, Pit. Loopy cautioned me that if I just had to write a letter to say as little as possible about the incident and to emphasize how much I value my relationship with Pit and her little son, Webster. Loopy is the kind of person who can drink it up and yuk it up with her mortal enemy. That's why she's Loopy. But I take what people say seriously. Character is everything for me. The rock in my shoe came at the end of Webster's birthday party when her husband and the thirty-some members of his family had left. Just our family was there, about four or five people. Pit brought up the "fact" that I had asked her husband's mother if the sex was good with her boyfriend. Maria had started talking about her boyfriend on Christmas, trying to explain why he wasn't there. She said he was recluse, never went anywhere, never attended the frequent family gatherings, and resluted in some of the family wondering if she wasn't making up his existence. My tongue was a little loosened by Evan Williams, and I asked, 'Is this a sexual relationship?" Maria laughed and replied, "There's not much of that." Then we pointedly went to another subject. Now Pit was saying I asked her " Is the sex good?"
I have never asked anyone if the sex was good, and can't see myself asking it. It's a woman's question, a woman who loves "Sex And The City," which is Pit's favorite TV show. Pit pointed out that I had drunk half the bottle of Evan Williams, and of course her brother, Fisher, had to say, 'I've seen Dad when he's had two drinks out fishing, and he will say anything!' Well no, Fisher, that's not true either because if it were, I'd be telling you that you drink too much and smoking is only for stupid people. There's other self-destructive behavior I'd address too. It's not like me to sit there and take this from anyone. I like to be right in their faces when people start something, particularly my family members, because I particularly want them to be honest and therefore strong. But I didn't want to do it at my grandson's first birthday party. I didn't want his birthday to be ruined by a confrontation. It also galled me how Pit claimed I had drunk half a bottle of bourbon on Christmas day, because only a few weeks before, she had claimed that I had drunk two-thirds of the bottle on Christmas Day. She was absolutely sure that no one else had touched the bottle. Then she turns around and says I drank half a bottle because her husband and a buddy had a drink. Now she's absolutely sure that I drank half a bottle. It must be nice to be so certain. First she's certain of X, then she's certain of non-X. One thing I am sure of is that if I had asked "Is Sex Good?" Pit would have been the first to say something to me about being out of line.
We don't call her Pit for nothing. I named her that when I saw her brother, Drifty, asking her to beat up a kid who was throwing rocks at him. Pit was five, and Drifty was nine. She confronted the kid and made him stop throwing rocks at Drifty, her big brother. Some time after the birthday party, Calamity said, "Maria has been dating this man for a long, long time. He's got a lot of money."
"Then it's a financial relationship."
"He's good to her, and he's got a lot of money," she repeated carefully.
Being careful with Pit and her husband, Smooth, might be the bedrock of my discontent. Every time we visit them, Calamity gives me instructions on what I am not to say. I am a John Wayne type of person not a tippy-toer. I was raised in a dog culture, beagle hounds, and I like being like beagles on the chase, wide-open, rocking and rolling. Tippy-toeing is not my forte. Do you understand, Two-Guns? You're a dog man yourself."
"Absolutely, Bill. I love to rock and roll and be wide-open too. I've got nothing to hide. I only regret that I didn't jack up a few rock and rollers who got too far out of line.
Peter "Two-Guns" Nickerson, MS, MSW.